Saturday, November 29, 2008

And on the Other Hand

Thanksgiving week was a huge one here in my world. TONS of the kindest most loving gestures and gifts beyond price. Doors opened to new possibilities, new avenues to be explored, researched. Dreams to be clarified and embarked upon. Delicious food shared with family and friends. Life is so incredibly rich. Yes, there are still days when I envy this beautiful gold dog beside me his simple life. Yet here I am in human form... blessed with people I love who love me. Challenged, growing, becoming... What IS most important? Who do we want to be? And again the Buddha's answer comes to mind... Awake... awake.

Musing on Black Friday

Shopping..... buying stuff is SO not my thing. It seems that's another of my Downright UnAmerican traits.

There were thousands of people lined up
last night to get to the cheap Christmas goodies this morning. I'm sure nearly everyone has seen, heard and/or read about the death(s?) that resulted from today, and I'm certain hundreds of people have blogged about it. My mind wonders at what we value. Granted, in this fear-based economy I too am tightening my belt and when I DO shop--anytime--I rarely pay full retail price. It's fun to get a bargain, isn't it? That is, I suppose, why Black Friday is so popular. I guess the mob mentality was bound to happen. Nothing like the "fear of loss" to inspire a sale. 'Oh my goodness... Hurry! The crap that will be in the landfills in 6 months may all be GONE!' It's a strange world we live in.....

Speaking of curious values.... I remember the first time I saw the t-shirt "The Man Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins"-- back in 1984 in the SF Bay Area-- worn by a landlord of mine who spent a good bit of time in prison for his greed. Selling kilos of cocaine. Manufacturing and distributing meth--a warehouse packed with a quoted worth of $10M in poisonous powder. How is it people can think that buying toys (restored airplanes and antique motorcycles in his case) with money that ruins lives is OK? I wonder whether he is free now and whether he learned how to get away with more crime or whether he was reformed in those "reformatories". Some days it's hard to be hopeful for fellows like that. And yet, hope prevails.... and the balancing act of life moves forward... teetering... Is there a solution to the hurting and hurtful acts in this life? Can we help the people who have chosen greed and taking embrace a life of loving kindness? Free will of course prevails and all I can think to do is pray.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Disappointments, expectation, gratitude and grace

What a time.... My spiritual practice says, "Speak your good, accept god/goddess' gifts of love and abundance, live as if you already have it, life gives you about what you expect from it so expect the best, be grateful for all of the good around you, keep your heart open, live in service and you will be blessed." Approximately that, anyway. So, how to explain the disappointments of 6 months of no buyers (ok, granted, 3 buyers who all bailed...) for the two homes I deeply want sold--price drops and all? The no West Coast job yet for the man I adore and long to see and hold and love more than once every 6 weeks? The tenants who skip owing two months of rent, leaving 1/2 of our duplex looking and smelling like a garbage dump? Some days I feel like a 2 yr old child, stomping my foot, pissed at the world for all of this struggle. "I WANT, I WANT." Some days the grief of it all takes over and I sit in a puddle of tears. I DO want... and when I speak and ask and put it out there that I accept and once again "it" doesn't come into my life my heart breaks a little more yet again. The Buddha taught that Life is suffering... frustrating and painful because we cling and crave.... if we relinquish that clinging and live a life of non-attachment/ right thinking/ mindfulness it will lead to the cessation of suffering. So once again, I let go. I trust that the Universe knows how my heart wants to give, and I keep taking the steps, one at a time to move into the life I envision. And I attempt (my inner voice comes in, speaking in Yoda tones: Do or do not...There is no try) ok, I Choose to focus on the good and beauty and love and support in which I live, I accept gracefully the fact that many things are out of my control. All I can do is Be who I want to be as life happens. I want to be positive, loving, strong, supportive, peaceful, fearless. May I learn from Paul who had peace of mind even in a Roman prison. I believe the TUT's slogan: Thoughts become things, choose the good ones. It is all there... all in our minds... and we get to choose.... though sometimes it seems "choosing the good ones" while imprisoned in my own wishes seems a daunting and overwhelming task. Moving into Thanksgiving week... my goal is to live it... Giving Thanks. Giving. Thanks. and letting go.......

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

An explanation

"My advice to writers just starting out? Don't use semi-colons!
They are transvestite hermaphrodites, representing exactly
nothing. All they do is suggest you might have gone to college."
---- Kurt Vonnegut----

Courtesy of Scotty Richardson, dad to 4 of the *brightest*
goldens :)

Blog thoughts on blogging and life

Received an email from my oldest (not chronologically--but jeeze, I've known this gal since puberty!) and funniest pals today letting me know she's been blogging for the past few months.... first announcement of that must have gotten eaten by the ones-and-zeros vacuum that obviously exists in a perpetually hungry state. So I read, and I chuckled, and remembered why I love her yet again. And it made me long for two more things that I love: oyster stew and writing.

For the past 2 years I have resisted blogging. A little over a year ago, the real estate world decided that blogging was THE way to get new business. For some reason that seemed a bit wrong to me... and I dug in my heels. If tons of Realtors were all of a sudden blogging, why would folks decide to read my ponderings? I barely have time to read all of the things I'd like to read each day, perhaps, thought I, that is true for others as well. And then there was the prospect of writing about only real estate... Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy helping people buy and sell homes. However, I have so many different interests, that researching "items of interest and value" to people only along that one avenue induced the heaviest of sighs of boredom. Soooo, I just didn't.

As I've lived alone again these past 11 months I have written more, journaling again, emailing voraciously with wonderful friends and family. I love to read and write. And I've admitted to a few close friends -- and now potentially to the entire www-reading world -- that, along with a huge number of people it seems, "I'd like to write a book one day". Again and again I hear, "If you want to be a writer, you must write." One of those blatently obvious statements which when practiced, does it seems, work for a large number of authors.... have you been in a Barnes and Noble lately? I've decided to quit resisting, open the door, and not limit myself.

I began this blog in spring of 06 when I was living a completely different life. The lessons learned in these past 2 years have been many and varied and truly feel like a lifetime has been packed into them.

  • I no longer use semi-colons* see next post. (though I do like bullets--the non violent kind :))
  • I understand the divorce process in WA and know that a loving divorce can happen. Thank you Wayne.
  • Relationships still fascinate me, perhaps even more so as I discuss and discover their widths and depths with my partner.
  • I've learned that autosurfing really is gambling and I've never been very lucky in the casinos. Although I AM the luckiest woman on the planet.
  • Putting a dog to sleep that I loved for over 10 years broke my heart... again. Fly free dear Trusty-roo.
  • Meeting my One in a virtual blues club is perhaps unlikely, but possible... and in fact, magical.
  • Patience is a virtue.... and a challenge.
  • Renting temporarily is acceptable behavior.
  • Long distance relationships are a bear. Thank God for skype, video cams and airplanes.
  • Real estate is cyclical. Reminds me of our political world... wild far swings from Seller's to Buyer's markets. And the yuppie parents raise hippie children... Yesterday's quote from Sissy's Realtor friend, "If people would just stop reading and watching the news and pay attention to what's happening in Their world..."
  • Living with a 10.5 yr old golden retriever as a roommate is GReat company. Quiet, but mellow and goofy at times.
  • Doing massage again feels like climbing back on a beloved bicycle.
  • Speaking of bikes... I CAN complete a triathlon, and plan to again!
  • Fear spreads like a disease. Faith, while much more difficult to practice, lifts, bouys, parts, moves mountains and comforts.
  • Dancing with menopause, becoming a crone can be HOT! ;)
  • I have the most fabulous friends and family. Thanksgiving is coming, my favorite holiday, celebrating gratitude. Then I turn 50. And my love will be home for Christmas.
  • Life with all of it's highs and lows Is Good.